Thursday, January 6, 2011

Bittersweet Anniversary

Today, Rick and I celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.  Why it is bittersweet is a long, complicated and heartbreaking story.  I'll keep it brief.

Many of you know that I was married once before.  Bob and I were married for 13 years before he died tragically and violently, exactly 2 months after that anniversary. 

Today's anniversary feels like the saddest type of milestone  -- I've now been married to Rick the same number of years that I was married to Bob.  Two months from today will also be a difficult day -- almost as difficult as the actual anniversary of Bob's death, which I dread and suffer through every year.

I've pretty much been in a sad state for the past few days in anticipation of how I would feel today.  We just went for a long walk, which helped immensely, as the view of Denali was spectacular.

A normal life includes a mix of pain, heartache and hopefully lots of joy and happiness.  All of those things combine to make us whole, complete people.

Hug your loved ones and do it often.


Diane said...

I am so sorry, Vicki. How wonderful that you have Rick now but I can certainly understand how you're feeling. I do wish you a very happy anniversary. Hugs, Diane

Pricilla said...

Goat hugs my friend.
Goat hugs. Big, warm, fuzzy, loving goat hugs.

Brandi said...

Oh, Vicki... my heart hurts for you. I wish I could give you a hug right now.

Your last sentence is so true.

Beadwright said...

Vicki all I want to do is give you a big hug and let you know that you have so many people who love and care about.
You are so lucky to have such a wonderful and understanding husband as Rick.

Michele said...

sending love... xox

Ina in Alaska said...

Happy anniversary Vicki! Sending hugs to you... let me know next time you come to ANC so we can have lunch! (I work downtown) xo

shari said...

Big giant hug for you from me.

When it hurts too much, stop, breathe, remember where you are at the moment. Remember you have a man who loves you NOW. You had a man who loved you THEN. And you know what? I bet he's looking down on you, and wishing you the most happiness you can contain in your heart & soul.

We're all here for you, Vicki.